Elaine’s Worst Boyfriends on ‘Seinfeld,’ According to Reddit

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Elaine’s Worst Boyfriends on ‘Seinfeld,’ According to Reddit

The fans over on the r/Seinfeld subreddit are at it again, arguing over who was Elaine’s worst boyfriend. It’s hard to count up which of her several flawed paramours scored the most upvotes due to an overly long thread featuring several duplicate suggestions, but here are seven idiots who are at least in the running for the title. Elaine Benes, you deserved better than all of them. 

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Phil Totola

The thread starts with a picture of shocked Elaine looking down at Phil’s lap and you can probably guess what’s going on by her reaction. When Jerry asks how the date went (he set her up with Phil in the first place), Elaine gets right to the point: “He took it out.”

So yeah, sexual harasser Phil makes the list. The rest of the Seinfeld gang doesn’t come off too well either. At least Jerry is shocked. But as u/certifiedbpdqueen writes, “Kramer defends Phil, and says, ‘Well maybe it needed to breathe,’ and George is amazed at why he never thought of doing it before.”

Crazy Joe Davola

There’s “crazy” as in “that guy painted his face blue for the football game!” And then there’s “Crazy Joe Davola crazy.” Joe seems genuinely mentally ill, and everyone is justifiably frightened of what he will do next. And so, is it really that funny when Elaine shows up at his apartment and finds a wall of Elaine pictures, including ones of her showering, taken secretly with a telephoto lens?

Owen March

This romantic plotline, in which Elaine’s boyfriend Owen has an incapacitating stroke before she gets the chance to break up with him, made this Jerry Seinfeld’s least favorite episode of all time

Glenn

Elaine is distrustful of her new boyfriend Glenn, suspecting he might be married because he won’t give up his phone number. Turns out that he’s just poor, which might be even worse. (As Elaine will eventually find out, Glenn is both poor and married.)

Jake Jarmel

Jarmel got multiple nominations because he’s “a pretentious prick” (u/Kman_24), and “she’s had multiple spats with him” (u/crudeyakuza). Even worse in Elaine’s book? When Jake takes a message about her friend’s new baby and makes questionable use of available punctuation (“Maybe I don’t use my exclamation points as haphazardly as you do”), she has to end the relationship.  

Todd Gack

Does Todd Gack actually qualify as a boyfriend? He never actually asks Elaine out, after all, managing to get a dinner date by losing a stupid bet (turns out, Dustin Hoffman wasn’t in Star Wars) and having to pay up. The deal breaker: He shows up on their second date with his parents. 

Castle Rock Entertainment

Dr. Reston

Perhaps the reason Crazy Joe Davola was so crazy was that he had the unprofessional Dr. Reston as his therapist. He was also Elaine’s doctor, which is… problematic.  “Aside from being creepy looking,” says u/jefferson497, “he is also highly unethical and manipulative.” Despite those terrible qualities, Elaine goes to Europe with Reston. But she’s so afraid of the powerful hold he has on her that she calls it off by pretending to be Kramer’s girlfriend. Reston befriends Kramer and convinces him to help win Elaine back. 

Manipulative, indeed! 

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This Roseanne Pop-Up Restaurant at Comic-Con Ignores the Last 10 Years of Her Life

This Roseanne Pop-Up Restaurant at Comic-Con Ignores the Last 10 Years of Her Life

To be fair to the Lanford Lunch Box, how many Deadpool cosplayers would ever even consider ordering a sandwich called “The Muslim Brotherhood Meatball Sub”?

This past weekend, the world’s most passionate nerds flocked to Southern California for the annual San Diego Comic-Con, the most popular and high-production value assembly of its kind. This year’s gathering featured a peculiar, immersive exhibition that took convention-goers into the world of one of the most popular shows of the 1990s that definitely isn’t Star Trek: TNG — The Lanford Lunch Box, a pop-up restaurant/carnival celebrating the sitcom Roseanne, took over about two acres of prime parking lot location a couple blocks from the convention center.

As part of Cozi TV’s “30 years of Roseanne” activation, the free event featured signature loose meat sandwiches and game booths touting names like “Roseanne’s Ring Toss” and “Darlene’s Knock It Down.” Clearly, the Lanford Lunch Box was the perfect place to bring Roseanne fans who booked their tickets for this year’s Comic-Con immediately after waking up from a 10-year coma.

Roseanne Barr’s many inflammatory and divisive remarks are well-known at this point — anyone vaguely familiar with the formerly universally beloved sitcom star knows that the last decade or so has seen her slide further and further down the political spectrum to full-on QAnon conspiracy nut. Since Barr was removed from the show bearing her name in 2018, the Lanford Lunch Box pop-up, so named for the in-universe restaurant co-owned by Roseanne and her family, exclusively bears images and decorations from the show’s original run, with most such material showing the happy faces of Roseanne and Dan, both alive and unfired.

Predictably, the Lanford Lunch Box includes no mentions of Barr’s bad behavior, choosing to focus on the show itself instead of the creator’s controversial views. The pop-up even put on a re-enactment of an episode of Roseanne — fittingly, the Season Five episode “Lanford Daze” — while a Loretta Lynn impersonator entertained Roseanne die-hards who were probably very confused by the rest of the Comic-Con.

That said, some Comic-Con goers were displeased with the appearance of The Lanford Lunch Box at the convention as members of the nerd community found it distasteful for a characteristically inclusive gathering to be used to promote the work of someone who just recently said that the Holocaust didn’t happen but it should have

If those fans still feel upset about the inclusion of the Roseanne homage when next July comes around, they should hold a convention that explicitly bans depictions or mentions of Barr — they can call it Conners-Con.

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